Mother and Child

Mother and Child
Painting by Pablo Picasso

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Adoption Truth - By Celeste B - Very Profound...

More Adopee Truth … well, My Adoptee Truth …:)

©2010 Celeste Billhartz

I had a good upbringing in a small Southern Illinois town, east of St. Louis, MO … among friendly, honest, hard-working families and many fine adoptive relatives. They were all good to me, loved me and I loved them.

Still, I longed for …. something … undefined, kind, normal:

Infant Eyes

©2004 & ©2010 Celeste Billhartz

Behold, my infant eyes

They turn away from lies

No gentle trace on this new face

I miss my mother's smile

A stranger holds me now

She knows not when or how

I cry and cry, she can't comply

I miss my mother's smile

Was there a test I failed?

And, thus, my life derailed?

Taken from her warm and loving arms

I miss my mother's smile

Behold, my infant eyes

They turn away from lies

No gentle trace on this new face

I miss my mother's smile

In fairness, I must say

She does her best each day

But this some other's not my mother!!!

Oh, ..... I miss her smile

The social engineers

Erased grandparents' fears

Lies were told, the baby sold

I miss my mother's smile


My adoptive father was sweet. He died when I was 13 or so. He owned a tavern … a wonderful old saloon … God, I loved that place … it had a solid wooden bar with brass foot rails and brass spittoons … not to be retro … that's how it was!

I found my mother … she had been told I died. Who decided that? My grandmothers colluded with the hospital to tell my Catholic mother and my Protestant father a lie.

Is that still how things are done?? Do agencies/churches/families still lie to mothers and fathers who aren't married … do they still tell them their babies are dying … here, sign this paper so the baby can be baptized CATHOLIC before she/he dies???

Dear God, I hope not.

My mother's sister and family welcomed me. They live on Martha's Vineyard, MA … not rich people … they are the work-a-day folks. My aunt (her sister) was in the US Army and fell in love with a MV boy, whose family was "Portagee" - many Portuguese descendants live there. I remember meeting them, after my mother died. I think adopted persons really want to see and hear "our people" … we value even the little things that make us part of our first family:


©2003 & ©2010 Celeste Billhartz

I must do more with my life ...

This precious gift from the loins of lovers

Who had less in common than apples and oranges

Their religions were different and their stations in life

And their options ... well ....

She had few options; it was 1939

I have that father's nose and that mother's eyes

And, from someone else ...

This clump of fat on the back of my neck!

It was wonderful to meet that family, sit at their table

Notice fingers and ears alike

My mother ... that mother, is gone

Aunt Emily smiled ...

"I don't look like her at all," I thought

I snapped one last picture, just as she turned away

I want to write and sing about that family ...

About this photo of Aunt Emily ...

And that clump of fat on the back of her neck


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