I found this on FB, a wonderful testament to intelligence and honesty!
Adoptive Mother Believes in Open Records
Mother and Child
Painting by Pablo Picasso
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
PBS Program....Article - Adoption From the Adoptees Point of View
Baby Rescue or Baby Factory is a wonderful article that talks about the adoption from a different perspective - the adoptees.....it is a definite must read!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Letter to Prospective Adopter(s) Cathrynbrent From An Adoptee
This letter is from an adoptee to the people that are in the last blog post - She copied me on the letter and said that I could post it - so here it is!
Hello,
I posted a comment on your blog asking you legit questions and it was removed. I am 32 years old and was adopted at 3. The state took me away from my mother because she was in foster care. The questions that I asked you were not intended to be mean in any way, but the way that it was removed made me feel as if you don't know the answers or you don't want people to think twice about your reasons for adopting a child. My questions are: Why adoption? Have you tried the other resources out there to conceive your own child? Foster homes are filled with children that are unwanted and or misunderstood, why not one of them? Why post a blog like an ad for adoption when it just looks like (in my opinion) you just need to get a puppy? There are so many young women out there that got pregnant that either the father left, or they feel they can't provide for the baby that would take money in a heart beat to regret it later. Another question I have is you say that you have a parenting "style"...how can you have a parenting style when you are not parents. Taking care of someone elses child for a short time is different than taking care of one full time. After all children do not come with instruction manuals. Now before you tell me that I have no idea, I do; I have 2 children of my own. It pains me to see your comments about loving "OUR" child when in fact the baby is not YOURS. Someone else gave birth to this baby, nursed this child with her own breasts, and changed this baby's diaper for the first time. The mother carried this child for 9 months and should not be treated like a loaner uterus. How are you going to prepare yourself for the dreaded talk to the child about adoption? You can't prepare for that and you can't prepare for the reaction that the child with give you. I was furious. I'm not saying that you will be bad "parents" but a child can retaliate to the news of being adopted and no matter how much to tell this child that you love him/her or that their biological mother was doing what was best, the child will always feel that he/she was not wanted by the one person that should love them no matter what. Children are not puppies and should not be treated as such. IF you want to adopt why not go to the foster homes and adopt one from there? IF you want to adopt a child why not adopt a preteen or even a teen. Fact is that a child over the age of 3-4 are not wanted and left in the system till they become of age. IF you say you have so much love to give and want to culture a child, why not become foster parents yourselves? That way you can give a young adult or even an older child that knows what is going on the sight and feeling of being loved? That way when the child/ teen is of age he/she can move on into adulthood with the knowledge that a couple took them in when no one else would and showed them how to be good adults? You can't just wake up one morning a decide that you want to take a baby from someone and call it your own. Sorry life doesn't work that way.
Hello,
I posted a comment on your blog asking you legit questions and it was removed. I am 32 years old and was adopted at 3. The state took me away from my mother because she was in foster care. The questions that I asked you were not intended to be mean in any way, but the way that it was removed made me feel as if you don't know the answers or you don't want people to think twice about your reasons for adopting a child. My questions are: Why adoption? Have you tried the other resources out there to conceive your own child? Foster homes are filled with children that are unwanted and or misunderstood, why not one of them? Why post a blog like an ad for adoption when it just looks like (in my opinion) you just need to get a puppy? There are so many young women out there that got pregnant that either the father left, or they feel they can't provide for the baby that would take money in a heart beat to regret it later. Another question I have is you say that you have a parenting "style"...how can you have a parenting style when you are not parents. Taking care of someone elses child for a short time is different than taking care of one full time. After all children do not come with instruction manuals. Now before you tell me that I have no idea, I do; I have 2 children of my own. It pains me to see your comments about loving "OUR" child when in fact the baby is not YOURS. Someone else gave birth to this baby, nursed this child with her own breasts, and changed this baby's diaper for the first time. The mother carried this child for 9 months and should not be treated like a loaner uterus. How are you going to prepare yourself for the dreaded talk to the child about adoption? You can't prepare for that and you can't prepare for the reaction that the child with give you. I was furious. I'm not saying that you will be bad "parents" but a child can retaliate to the news of being adopted and no matter how much to tell this child that you love him/her or that their biological mother was doing what was best, the child will always feel that he/she was not wanted by the one person that should love them no matter what. Children are not puppies and should not be treated as such. IF you want to adopt why not go to the foster homes and adopt one from there? IF you want to adopt a child why not adopt a preteen or even a teen. Fact is that a child over the age of 3-4 are not wanted and left in the system till they become of age. IF you say you have so much love to give and want to culture a child, why not become foster parents yourselves? That way you can give a young adult or even an older child that knows what is going on the sight and feeling of being loved? That way when the child/ teen is of age he/she can move on into adulthood with the knowledge that a couple took them in when no one else would and showed them how to be good adults? You can't just wake up one morning a decide that you want to take a baby from someone and call it your own. Sorry life doesn't work that way.
This is the Blog of Prospective Adopters - Really look at it
Tuesday, October 12, 2010About Us:
The journey to find the right parents for your baby is a courageous one. We are humbled that you may be considering us.
We've created this site to help you to get to know us. We hope to get to know you as well and to learn about your dreams for the future.
We're Best Friends
We love nature. We go hiking and camping around California.
We want to share the beauty of this earth with our child.
Camping in Yosemite
We love rollerskating
We have the same sparkle now that we had when we first met.
We support each other.
We cherish each other every day.
On the beach in Malibu
We laugh together.
We volunteer together.
We met in an acting class in 1997 and fell in love.
We've been a happy couple ever since.
We got married in 2004.
We appreciate each other so much.
Click on the red links at the top of the page on the right to find out more about us.
cathrynbrent@gmail.com
At home
Posted by Cathryn and Brent at 10:29 PM Email This BlogThis! Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Google Buzz 12 comments:
sheila said...
The two of you would make such wonderful parents! You are both selfless, loving, supportive, fun, and full of life! I love you both and wish you the best with your future family! Love,Sheila.
November 10, 2010 4:04 PM
Jody said...
I read through your website and it made me want to be a part of your family!!!
When I first heard you were looking to adopt I was so happy. I was ecstatic to think of the lucky child who would land in your arms and grow in your home, amidst the light that you emit as individuals and a couple. And you can not even imagine the joy that your child will bring to you. It's miraculous! Congratulations! xo Jody
November 14, 2010 7:32 PM
Mary Beth said...
Every child deserves a home as loving as yours! We can't wait to witness your beautiful family grow! XOXO, Mary Beth
November 14, 2010 8:59 PM
Kate VanD said...
You two have been opening your home and your hearts to others for so many years...I know so many people who have been touched by your compassion, generosity and kindness (myself included!) It seems only natural to welcome a child into your lives. May the joy you've given so many others be returned to you in spades!
Love, Kate VanD
November 14, 2010 9:29 PM
Christine said...
Cathryn & Brent - what you see is what you get!
We love you both - you are Super-Real and
Down-to-Earth! Rock-Solid! Any child would be amazingly fortunate to have you as parents! Wow! Big Wow! You have the most Beautiful Hearts!
Christine Fisher and Kile Fisher
November 15, 2010 12:50 PM
Patricia Cregan Navarra said...
You are the personification of Spring, all love and hope and optimism. Can't wait until your lucky baby finds their way to you. God bless. xoxo
November 16, 2010 8:19 PM
LaTonia Colas said...
I am so excited for you both! A child is such a precious gift. You two are so amazing together and you deserve to be parents to a child who needs your love. Your baby will be so blessed to have you as parents. I will keep you in my prayers. xoxo
November 18, 2010 6:27 PM
Toni Oswald said...
I became so filled with happiness just looking at your site here and thinking about how amazing it would be to be raised by the two of you. You both are two of the most generous, kind, loving and supportive people I have ever know. I wish you all the best in your search and I know you will create a joyous family who believes, cherishes, loves and supports one another. I can't wait to watch your journey unfold.
November 20, 2010 10:43 AM
amnus said...
your live is colorfull...I like see
December 1, 2010 7:24 PM
mAdwords said...
So cute....I like see too.
December 2, 2010 4:02 AM
Lori said...
Nice - one question - why did you wait until you could not have children of your own to marry and start a family? Not that I think you did this, but it sure looks like it.
December 2, 2010 8:05 AM
MrsL said...
I am an adoptee and although you seem like a nice couple, so did my a-rents; lets say once the doors closed it wasn't so pretty. I'm not saying that you would be abusive toward the child in any way so please don't take it that way. My question is, why adoption? Have you tried ALL of the resources to conceive your own child? Also I was not too fond of your statement saying that you would love "YOUR" child because well lets face it, the child is not yours. Yes you will care for it, but you did not carry the child and nurse it. Adoption is a hard decision for the biological mother to make. Would you allow the mother to have contact with the child? Would you talk to the child about his/her mother and explain why he/she was adopted? I will be honest, but to me it seems like you want to have the "perfect" family with the child and the picket white fence and the puppy. Like my mom Lori(biological mom and only mom regardless of the adoption) stated why did you wait so long to start a family? There are so many kids out there in the foster system that need parents yet you seem to want a baby, why is that? Would you consider adopting a preteen or even a teen? Are you willing to tell the child that he/she is adopted and go through the "you're not my mother" phase? The hate and anger that will most likely follow? Maybe not towards you but the biological mother. Why create a web page for adoption when there are plenty of foster homes that have "unwanted" and misunderstood children?
December 2, 2010 9:50 AM
*NOW - THINK ABOUT THIS - THERE WERE WONDERFUL PICTURES AND SMILING FACES...AND THESE PEOPLE ARE IN THEIR 30s - PAST THE POINT WHERE THEY COULD HAVE EASILY HAD CHILDREN....THEIR CAREERS CAME FIRST. THEY HAVE LINKS ON THEIR PARENTING STYLE - EXCUSE ME? HOW DO THEY KNOW? THEY HAVE NEVER PARENTED.
THEIR STATEMENTS WERE ABOUT THEM, THEIR CHILD - BUT THE FACT IS THEY DON'T HAVE A CHILD AND BECAUSE OF THIS THEY WANT SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD....MAYBE IF THEY HAD NOT BEEN SO BUSY CAMPING AND ACTING AND SWIMMING AT MALIBU, THEY MIGHT HAVE HAD THEIR OWN CHILDREN - RATHER THAN STEALING ANOTHER WOMAN'S CHILD!
GIVE ME YOUR CHILD! - the link to the blog that these adopters have put up!
The journey to find the right parents for your baby is a courageous one. We are humbled that you may be considering us.
We've created this site to help you to get to know us. We hope to get to know you as well and to learn about your dreams for the future.
We're Best Friends
We love nature. We go hiking and camping around California.
We want to share the beauty of this earth with our child.
Camping in Yosemite
We love rollerskating
We have the same sparkle now that we had when we first met.
We support each other.
We cherish each other every day.
On the beach in Malibu
We laugh together.
We volunteer together.
We met in an acting class in 1997 and fell in love.
We've been a happy couple ever since.
We got married in 2004.
We appreciate each other so much.
Click on the red links at the top of the page on the right to find out more about us.
cathrynbrent@gmail.com
At home
Posted by Cathryn and Brent at 10:29 PM Email This BlogThis! Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Google Buzz 12 comments:
sheila said...
The two of you would make such wonderful parents! You are both selfless, loving, supportive, fun, and full of life! I love you both and wish you the best with your future family! Love,Sheila.
November 10, 2010 4:04 PM
Jody said...
I read through your website and it made me want to be a part of your family!!!
When I first heard you were looking to adopt I was so happy. I was ecstatic to think of the lucky child who would land in your arms and grow in your home, amidst the light that you emit as individuals and a couple. And you can not even imagine the joy that your child will bring to you. It's miraculous! Congratulations! xo Jody
November 14, 2010 7:32 PM
Mary Beth said...
Every child deserves a home as loving as yours! We can't wait to witness your beautiful family grow! XOXO, Mary Beth
November 14, 2010 8:59 PM
Kate VanD said...
You two have been opening your home and your hearts to others for so many years...I know so many people who have been touched by your compassion, generosity and kindness (myself included!) It seems only natural to welcome a child into your lives. May the joy you've given so many others be returned to you in spades!
Love, Kate VanD
November 14, 2010 9:29 PM
Christine said...
Cathryn & Brent - what you see is what you get!
We love you both - you are Super-Real and
Down-to-Earth! Rock-Solid! Any child would be amazingly fortunate to have you as parents! Wow! Big Wow! You have the most Beautiful Hearts!
Christine Fisher and Kile Fisher
November 15, 2010 12:50 PM
Patricia Cregan Navarra said...
You are the personification of Spring, all love and hope and optimism. Can't wait until your lucky baby finds their way to you. God bless. xoxo
November 16, 2010 8:19 PM
LaTonia Colas said...
I am so excited for you both! A child is such a precious gift. You two are so amazing together and you deserve to be parents to a child who needs your love. Your baby will be so blessed to have you as parents. I will keep you in my prayers. xoxo
November 18, 2010 6:27 PM
Toni Oswald said...
I became so filled with happiness just looking at your site here and thinking about how amazing it would be to be raised by the two of you. You both are two of the most generous, kind, loving and supportive people I have ever know. I wish you all the best in your search and I know you will create a joyous family who believes, cherishes, loves and supports one another. I can't wait to watch your journey unfold.
November 20, 2010 10:43 AM
amnus said...
your live is colorfull...I like see
December 1, 2010 7:24 PM
mAdwords said...
So cute....I like see too.
December 2, 2010 4:02 AM
Lori said...
Nice - one question - why did you wait until you could not have children of your own to marry and start a family? Not that I think you did this, but it sure looks like it.
December 2, 2010 8:05 AM
MrsL said...
I am an adoptee and although you seem like a nice couple, so did my a-rents; lets say once the doors closed it wasn't so pretty. I'm not saying that you would be abusive toward the child in any way so please don't take it that way. My question is, why adoption? Have you tried ALL of the resources to conceive your own child? Also I was not too fond of your statement saying that you would love "YOUR" child because well lets face it, the child is not yours. Yes you will care for it, but you did not carry the child and nurse it. Adoption is a hard decision for the biological mother to make. Would you allow the mother to have contact with the child? Would you talk to the child about his/her mother and explain why he/she was adopted? I will be honest, but to me it seems like you want to have the "perfect" family with the child and the picket white fence and the puppy. Like my mom Lori(biological mom and only mom regardless of the adoption) stated why did you wait so long to start a family? There are so many kids out there in the foster system that need parents yet you seem to want a baby, why is that? Would you consider adopting a preteen or even a teen? Are you willing to tell the child that he/she is adopted and go through the "you're not my mother" phase? The hate and anger that will most likely follow? Maybe not towards you but the biological mother. Why create a web page for adoption when there are plenty of foster homes that have "unwanted" and misunderstood children?
December 2, 2010 9:50 AM
*NOW - THINK ABOUT THIS - THERE WERE WONDERFUL PICTURES AND SMILING FACES...AND THESE PEOPLE ARE IN THEIR 30s - PAST THE POINT WHERE THEY COULD HAVE EASILY HAD CHILDREN....THEIR CAREERS CAME FIRST. THEY HAVE LINKS ON THEIR PARENTING STYLE - EXCUSE ME? HOW DO THEY KNOW? THEY HAVE NEVER PARENTED.
THEIR STATEMENTS WERE ABOUT THEM, THEIR CHILD - BUT THE FACT IS THEY DON'T HAVE A CHILD AND BECAUSE OF THIS THEY WANT SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD....MAYBE IF THEY HAD NOT BEEN SO BUSY CAMPING AND ACTING AND SWIMMING AT MALIBU, THEY MIGHT HAVE HAD THEIR OWN CHILDREN - RATHER THAN STEALING ANOTHER WOMAN'S CHILD!
GIVE ME YOUR CHILD! - the link to the blog that these adopters have put up!
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