I have often used the word loss, because that is what I feel. But there is another word that fits what happened more "Surrender" this is an entry that was very clarifying. It is precise in the details of what surrender is and isn't. I was quite impressed as this is the work of a lovely woman and an adoptee...she shows insight that is rare in the world, precisely because she writes about mothers, not adoptees.
http://www.declassifiedadoptee.com/2010/08/why-i-say-surrender.html#comment-form
Mother and Child
Painting by Pablo Picasso
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